Rise Above: Turn Setbacks into Unstoppable Strength

Photo by Adrian Swancar on Unsplash

Early in my adult life, I learned from Buddha that life is suffering.

He also emphasized that while suffering exists, life includes joy and happiness.

But it can sometimes be challenging to find this joy and happiness.

Especially when faced with setbacks.

Society frequently suggests that many of these positive states are external. They are viewed as things to acquire instead of qualities to cultivate from within. This is an important distinction that can benefit us all.

Especially when setbacks strike.

What often occurs when we experience something that doesn't meet our expectations?

Many complain, become stagnant, and experience a negative emotional state. They suffer longer than necessary. Lacking the ability to overcome their suffering and reclaim their power.

This is resilience.

The ability to bounce back from setbacks and adapt to change.

Most importantly, it is choosing what you can control and letting go of what you can't. This is often easier said than done.

In my life I have had many setbacks like most.

I allowed my emotions to get the best of me when I was younger. I would move heaven and hell to get the outcome I wanted. Even though the more I pushed, the less likely I was to get what I wanted.

It often felt like the world was against me.

I suffered as a result.

I will carry the lessons I have learned since entering and leaving my twenties for a lifetime. Today, I want to share some of those lessons so you don't have to suffer as much.

While keeping in mind that suffering is a part of life.

And it's not that we will suffer, but rather, what we do when it rears its ugly head before us.

Emotional Management: Handling Feelings of Loss and Stress

In a previous newsletter we talked about emotional intelligence.

Many of those lessons apply here, too, so keep them in mind. The critical lesson is acknowledging emotions like sadness or frustration as natural responses. Then, pause and ask yourself why you feel such things.

Avoid taking setbacks personally by recognizing external factors—the things you can't control.

Then, refocus on what you can control, like your reaction to the setback. Use mindfulness techniques (e.g., deep breathing) to manage stress.

A great tip is to try a 5-minute breathing exercise daily to stay grounded and present.

Cognitive Strategies: Changing Negative Thought Patterns

Practice positive self-talk.

So instead of saying "I failed" try to say things like "I'm learning."

View setbacks as opportunities for growth rather than endpoints. Try to zoom out on the issue and keep perspective by focusing on the bigger picture.

What we experience in the moment will not matter days, weeks, or months from now.

A powerful tip: Write down one lesson learned from a recent challenge.

Action-Oriented Approaches: Steps to Move Forward

Set small, achievable goals using the SMART framework discussed in a previous newsletter.

Simply put, you want to set specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound goals.

Also, network with friends, colleagues, or professionals for support and opportunities. There are 8 billion people in the world. You're not alone.

Explore new paths like freelancing or online courses to upskill.

The idea is to move past the setback, and get back on track.

A tip: Update your LinkedIn profile this week to expand your network and net worth.

Social Support: The Role of Relationships

Build a support network of family, friends, or mentors.

Consider professional help, such as a career coach or therapist. When I was going through it during the pandemic, my therapist brought me a lot of clarity. She helped shape me into the person I am today.

My advice with therapists is don't feel like you have to work with someone. If the fit isn't there, find someone else.

Join a community group or volunteer to connect with others.

From my experiences, your found family can often be more supportive than your blood relatives. I still find this phenomenon strange, but such is life.

The tip here: Reach out to one person today for a supportive conversation.

Self-Care: Prioritizing Physical and Emotional Health

Exercise regularly to boost mood and reduce stress, even if that means going on a walk around the neighborhood.

Prioritize sleep for mental clarity and energy. Sleep is essential and getting enough can really make a difference.

Use relaxation techniques like journaling or spending time with loved ones. If this is not possible, consider getting a pet.

Tip: Schedule 30 minutes of self-care into your daily routine.

Real-World Personal Examples

In September 2023, I was fired from my last job.

It was both a freeing and terrifying moment, because if you're unemployed currently, you know the job market has been brutal for some time now.

I didn't know what was next for me. Would I get a new job? Did I want to work for myself?

I honestly wanted to work for myself, but I had never started or run a business before. All I had was theory from the business classes I took in high school and college (before I dropped out).

Over the last year, I've found my way as a solopreneur with the support of my best friend and mom. My best friend will send me panels every other day to put extra money in my pocket. I donate plasma to cover my basic needs, and I live with my mother.

It's not an easy life, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I get to write for you guys and gals twice a week. I'm building a brand for myself.

I'm doing exactly what I wanted to do as a child. Write.

I've been upskilling the whole time as well.

I'm a certified Google IT Professional. I'm a web developer. And I'm currently learning iOS Development to launch an app I've wanted to create for quite some time.

All because I have the time to dedicate and invest in myself.

And this is only the beginning.

I have many interests and skills I've picked up over the years. For example, in 2020 when I was also unemployed due to the pandemic, I learned how to produce music and play the piano.

I want to use these skills to produce an album with the money I earn from my personal brand.

The possibilities are truly endless. And yes, I still apply for jobs weekly to cover all my bases.

My life isn't perfect. It's not even ideal, but every day I focus on what I can, and let go of what I can't.

When I experience setbacks, I feel my feelings, but I don't let them control me.

I do what I can with love in my heart, and people who want to see me succeed. That's all I could ever ask for.

Quick Recap: Building a Mindset to Conquer Failure and Reclaim Your Power

Resilience is the ability to bounce back from setbacks and adapt to change.

Try a 5-minute breathing exercise daily to stay grounded and present.

Write down one lesson learned from a recent challenge.

Update your LinkedIn profile this week to expand your network and net worth.

Reach out to one person today for a supportive conversation.

Schedule 30 minutes of self-care into your daily routine.

Remember, there are 8 billion people in the world, your people are out there.

Also remember, resilience is a journey, and every step forward counts.

Picture yourself thriving after failure, unshaken by life’s curveballs.

Take one step today—rise above your setbacks now.

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P.S.

Soon, I’ll be launching the Personal Development Masterclass. This course aims to assist you in:

• Establishing 1-2 life-changing habits within 30 days.

• Developing a proven framework to replicate habit-building for any area of your life.

• Building consistency, confidence, and control over your daily routines.

Can’t wait to share it with you. Stay tuned.

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